I decided to be the adult when it came down to the problems with my literary magazine staff....... I mean someone had too, and since I am 25 and managing editor, I figured that someone needed to be me. I apologized to those I probably pissed off the most, and ironically these were the same people who worked the hardest on the magazine, and I ignored that because of my personal agenda and bitterness. I still feel wronged in some way, but I feel that I am one of the reasons I feel that way. I should not have invested so much of my energy into getting myself in the literary magazine, instead I should have focused on making the magazine great in itself. That was my biggest mistake.

I am fairly insecure about my artwork and music, and a little scared that I have thrown all my career and future eggs in those baskets. And I think that is what led me to be more bitter about the whole artwork left out of the lit mag thing. I need to get used to the fact that not everyone is even going to be okay with my artwork, they are going to passionately hate what I am doing..... and I just need to deal with it and not look at it as some personal attack. That being said I hope I can meet exceptional, humble, and mature artists to share ideas with.

On a more positive note, I am doing a showing in January with Proxart, a local up and coming music/art production group. They are really great people and I look forward to working with them. I also hope to have a show in Chinatown soon...... I would be showing with other artists at both events which is something I prefer anyways, because I would prefer to celebrate art with other talented artists..... I wouldn't want a whole show to myself, at least for now.

I just wrote a short story sized part of this blog about a girl and then erased because it is way to soon to be writing about girls that I just met, it may look desperate(which I am not), it may look like I am lonely(which I am) to even be writing this. But I wrote it and erased it because I guess I needed to visually see what I was thinking and feeling. I will say this about her.... she is one of those exceptional artists I was writing about before, the kind of person who is really talented in all of her crafts and disciplines..... but she doesn't act like it. That in itself, is quite refreshing.