It is amazing how inspirational and uplifting our new president can be. No matter how insecure or afraid of life I have been lately, he seems to make me feel a strong sense of hope and an urge to better myself. He makes me believe I am capable of anything....
Thank you Mr. President
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Thursday, January 15, 2009
The real world is in the rear view mirror and gaining speed.......
It has been an eye opening and sobering last few months. But I would not say it has been a bad thing or it has made me sad or angry or upset really. Sobering is definitely the best word, because I am glad my 25 year hangover is wearing off.
Writing my parents checks has definitely been weird, it has also been something I have been very happy to do, but it also means they really can't help me out anymore. So I catch myself wondering more than usual(which is never) what is next?
I have goals..... how do I get there?
My principles and philosophies are almost literally starving me, but I can't change who I am and how I feel about everything that is life.
My flashlight is just slowly dimming, I see less and less things that are farther away from me
It has been an eye opening and sobering last few months. But I would not say it has been a bad thing or it has made me sad or angry or upset really. Sobering is definitely the best word, because I am glad my 25 year hangover is wearing off.
Writing my parents checks has definitely been weird, it has also been something I have been very happy to do, but it also means they really can't help me out anymore. So I catch myself wondering more than usual(which is never) what is next?
I have goals..... how do I get there?
My principles and philosophies are almost literally starving me, but I can't change who I am and how I feel about everything that is life.
My flashlight is just slowly dimming, I see less and less things that are farther away from me
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Quinn Thumb the Vagabond
I think I am leaning towards becoming a vagabond or bohemian gypsy, or if your not into the label thing like myself, I want to become someone who travels the world, living paycheck to paycheck, working odd jobs, trying to sell my art, trying to play my music.
But fear keeps me at bay, fear of losing the comfortable life I live, with supportive family and friends, with a home to go to every night and food to eat every day. But life has become a little less comfortable lately and as a result I am starting to gain a little courage to be more spontaneous if not to become a vagabond bohemian gypsy.
I also wouldnt want to be completely alone when traveling, and I don't think anyone is going to drop what they are doing and backpack around Europe with me. My most spontaneous friend is Jason, he is always up for adventure, even when I am not..... but I am sure even he has his limits.
I feel my school, work, and even my bands just keep me tied to where I am. For example I would love to do some vagabonding this weekend, but I have band practice and work this whole weekend.
I am the cross roads
But fear keeps me at bay, fear of losing the comfortable life I live, with supportive family and friends, with a home to go to every night and food to eat every day. But life has become a little less comfortable lately and as a result I am starting to gain a little courage to be more spontaneous if not to become a vagabond bohemian gypsy.
I also wouldnt want to be completely alone when traveling, and I don't think anyone is going to drop what they are doing and backpack around Europe with me. My most spontaneous friend is Jason, he is always up for adventure, even when I am not..... but I am sure even he has his limits.
I feel my school, work, and even my bands just keep me tied to where I am. For example I would love to do some vagabonding this weekend, but I have band practice and work this whole weekend.
I am the cross roads
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Have no fear of perfection...... you'll never reach it
So..... 2009. I guess we should start with resolutions are things I want to give up or add on to my life.
Things I want to give up:
1. video games - something once fun to do has now become just a bad habit for me.
2. cut down the fast food - trying to eliminate this completely immediately is simply unrealistic for me, but cutting down on it and choosing healthy when I do (ex. salad instead of burger) is better way of slowly cutting out fast food all together.
3. falling asleep to movies - I cut out tv shows successfully in the last year, now its time for movie watching, I want to try another way to fall asleep rather than to a film. (even though I love films)
Things I would like to do more of or add to my life:
1. Reading - I think this will replace video games rather well, I got a Bob Dylan and Bukowski book for Christmas, I intend to read both and then re read The Catcher in the Rye, after that who knows.
2. Art - This won't be too hard because I am in love with making art, I don't just love it I am in love with it. The way I used to love basketball and music as a boy is the way I love art now. I love being an artist. Also I have 5 art classes this semester so that will help make this easier too. I used to wonder how or why I have been in community college for so long, Art is the answer... I now found my passion in life and academia. Besides making the art I really want to spend time promoting and selling the art this year, this is want I want to do with my life so I need to get myself out there! I am going to make buisness cards, and official website(myspace isnt bad since its free but I need to take a step up), go to art fairs, try to get gallery showings. I think the art I am making is pretty good right now, but I think it is still missing something.... I want to find out what it is this year.
3. Reinvest in my music - Unfortunately this might mean looking around for another band to play with. I love Kimpeek and the Invisible Band and all of the members involved in those projects, but I love playing music, I love being on stage playing in front of my friends and family and everyone else. And being a drummer you need people to play with. I also want to finish learning the piano, I am half-way there and was pretty decent at one point, I figured if I work hard at for most of this next year I could start writing songs. Lastly I will be getting turntables this year. Being a DJ has been a childhood dream that I never pursued, and I am tired of putting it off.
4. Reinvest in my writing - I unfortunately think this does not mean poetry. All indications by school faculty and friends tell me that this is not my strongest area in the writing world. However I feel, along with the same people, that I have potential in short stories and maybe someday a novel. I have written two short stories in the last year and both were recieved well. I have two in the works this year, and who knows..... maybe one will evolve into a novel.
5. Getting back into athletic shape - I am not high on physical apperances in general, so this is more for feeling good rather than looking good(even though probably wouldn't hurt) I coach basketball, I plan on playing it again soon, and I play city league baseball now(I got picked up as a free agent, I am soo excited!) I am also a big believer that my physical shape will greatly aid in the developlment of my mental and artistic abilities.
6. Let things happen to me - I have been successful at making things happen, but that is different than letting things happen to me, or in other words, I need to live a little more fearless. Not be afraid of the unknown as much. I think you have to let both good and bad things happen to you in order to grow as a person.
So I guess thats the plan for 2009, let see if it gets executed
Things I want to give up:
1. video games - something once fun to do has now become just a bad habit for me.
2. cut down the fast food - trying to eliminate this completely immediately is simply unrealistic for me, but cutting down on it and choosing healthy when I do (ex. salad instead of burger) is better way of slowly cutting out fast food all together.
3. falling asleep to movies - I cut out tv shows successfully in the last year, now its time for movie watching, I want to try another way to fall asleep rather than to a film. (even though I love films)
Things I would like to do more of or add to my life:
1. Reading - I think this will replace video games rather well, I got a Bob Dylan and Bukowski book for Christmas, I intend to read both and then re read The Catcher in the Rye, after that who knows.
2. Art - This won't be too hard because I am in love with making art, I don't just love it I am in love with it. The way I used to love basketball and music as a boy is the way I love art now. I love being an artist. Also I have 5 art classes this semester so that will help make this easier too. I used to wonder how or why I have been in community college for so long, Art is the answer... I now found my passion in life and academia. Besides making the art I really want to spend time promoting and selling the art this year, this is want I want to do with my life so I need to get myself out there! I am going to make buisness cards, and official website(myspace isnt bad since its free but I need to take a step up), go to art fairs, try to get gallery showings. I think the art I am making is pretty good right now, but I think it is still missing something.... I want to find out what it is this year.
3. Reinvest in my music - Unfortunately this might mean looking around for another band to play with. I love Kimpeek and the Invisible Band and all of the members involved in those projects, but I love playing music, I love being on stage playing in front of my friends and family and everyone else. And being a drummer you need people to play with. I also want to finish learning the piano, I am half-way there and was pretty decent at one point, I figured if I work hard at for most of this next year I could start writing songs. Lastly I will be getting turntables this year. Being a DJ has been a childhood dream that I never pursued, and I am tired of putting it off.
4. Reinvest in my writing - I unfortunately think this does not mean poetry. All indications by school faculty and friends tell me that this is not my strongest area in the writing world. However I feel, along with the same people, that I have potential in short stories and maybe someday a novel. I have written two short stories in the last year and both were recieved well. I have two in the works this year, and who knows..... maybe one will evolve into a novel.
5. Getting back into athletic shape - I am not high on physical apperances in general, so this is more for feeling good rather than looking good(even though probably wouldn't hurt) I coach basketball, I plan on playing it again soon, and I play city league baseball now(I got picked up as a free agent, I am soo excited!) I am also a big believer that my physical shape will greatly aid in the developlment of my mental and artistic abilities.
6. Let things happen to me - I have been successful at making things happen, but that is different than letting things happen to me, or in other words, I need to live a little more fearless. Not be afraid of the unknown as much. I think you have to let both good and bad things happen to you in order to grow as a person.
So I guess thats the plan for 2009, let see if it gets executed
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